21 Benefits to having multiple children

Other than the obvious that they always have a friend & all the hand-me-downs here are some of the other benefits to having multiple children I have found.

1. You can always ask one of the older ones to sniff the baby's bum to check if they've pooped so you don't have to.
2. You get to stay up all night as the children have a running rota where they take turns waking/keeping you up, especially ideal if you don't like sleep.
3. You definitely won't need an alarm as at least one child is bound to wake you up (mostly likely by fighting with a sibling) - except for those days when you really need to get up of course; do not become complacent and opt against setting an alarm if you actually have to get up early, they are guaranteed to sleep in just because it's inconvenient.
4. You become a cheap date as you're unlikely to want to risk a hangover with 3 kids under 5 years about (or one of any age to be honest - I recommend waiting till they are out of nappies because nothing is fouler than changing a shitty nappy when you already want to spew), that is if you ever manage to leave the house for a date in the first place. Our last date was in October, 2017, and I was pregnant so it was a pretty low key affair.
5. It's REALLY fun to listen to them squabble over inane stuff, more children = more pointless arguments. It's also delightful to argue with a mini version of you while you are overwhelmed with sympathy for your own parents.
6. You get to pretend to be a detective in your very own "who done it" as they always blame one of the others whether it be for a fart or who drew on the furniture. The other day the four year old tried to get a bit more chocolate cake by claiming her little sister had stolen a bit from her, as she had a big grin from side to side and there had not been any indignant screaming at the supposed "incident" I was confident it was just a rouse though.                                                                                                     
7. When one child gets sick you get to play a really fun game where you wait to see if and who else will get sick, you just never know if your entire house will be in lock down and for how long when one of the germ sharing buggers brings something home. Don't get me started on the long list of gross, childhood illnesses you never heard of before.
8. You never have time to eat, which means you either loose all that baby weight or more likely gain more than you thought was possible because you have to sneak snacks which inevitably will be unhealthy because you just want sugar, more sugar & some salt to keep you going through the caffeine nausea you've given yourself trying to wake up.
9. You laugh more (and so prolong your life, or at least gain back the minutes your lack of sleep and healthy food have robbed you of) because kids are pretty f*cking funny.
10. You increase the number of wrinkles & grey hairs you have which makes you look old and wise, great help when you need to fool people you're pulling off this adulting gig.
11. You will not get hot food if you try to eat as a family, if someone isn't needing the toilet, or complaining about what's on offer they're painting the table with their dinner. As an example here's a beautiful, mayonnaise decorated bottle created by our middle child... I knew she was being too quiet.

    

    luckily these bottles are so easy to clean!

12. You increase your chances of at least one person enjoying dinner while simultaneously making it less likely that multiple people will enjoy it; to counter this effect you will probably give up on cooking entirely and make the same handful of dishes repeatedly for the children so as to avoid constant battles for them to actually eat and only bother cooking nice meals for grateful adults in the house.
13. The older ones can help feed the baby, they will probably also feed the baby stuff they really shouldn't. Example: baby #1 made it to 2+ yrs with barely any sugar, baby #2 made it 1 year without sugar baring the odd biscuit, baby #3 is 8 months old and the other day I saw the 2 year old feed him crisps in the car, I'm fairly certain someone has already fed him sugar going by that.
14. It's easier to meet new people you most likely have nothing in common with other than the fact that you have children, you also get to learn a whole new vocabulary and stop being capable of communicating with people who don't have children.
15. You have a permanent excuse for your home being a tip. Likewise, you always have an excuse for being late. Or, if you're like me, and HATE being late, you get exercise running around like a headless chicken trying to get everyone ready and out the house on time.
16. You can ask the older ones to get you things when you can't be bothered or if you're trying to hold a poo covered baby still but have run out of wipes (this has happened more than once).
17. They can inform you of any naughty behaviour the others are attempting to sneak past you; I've recently also found my eldest is a great safety buffer for the baby who's currently pulling himself up to standing anywhere he can - I've taught her how to sit so she can catch him safely should he topple over (she is LOVING her new responsibilities).
18. It is never quiet, this is good if you fear silence... Now I'm a mother I certainly do: If it is quiet they are either doing something they shouldn't or you've lost/forgotten them somewhere. But on the bright side it's pretty much impossible to feel lonely, or remember what personal space is.
19. There's always more laundry because who would want an empty laundry basket?! I think our basket was empty for 15 minutes the other day and that was a record! My husband actually laughed when I told him I had done all the laundry.
20. Your standards lower, like ALL your standards lower.
21. There's always love and cuddles to go round - while this is mostly sweet you also wonder who is going to get strangled or injured first as boundaries are often crossed and (from the toddler in particular) there are regularly very rough hugs dished out.

P.S. on a serious note: when is it ok to ask your child to turn on the oven? so often, while feeding the baby and having a seat on the sofa just before dinner time, have I almost asked the eldest to go turn it on and then realised what a terrible idea that is and stopped the words coming out the mouth. But I really think she'll pay for herself when she can do that one little chore!