On Monday, 6 days ago, I started potty training Elis, by late afternoon he had a fever which turned out to be Roseola. The next morning I seriously considered aborting the mission and restarting in a few weeks again, but he'd done well on his first day so decided to continue.
I potty trained my older two at young age, my eldest was 23 months old and the middle child was only 17 months old. In both cases it was greatly driven by the fact that I was pregnant with another child and felt that I'd have enough on my hands with a newborn to tackle potty training easily at a later date. Nor did I fancy the thought of changing nappies on two children at the same time to be perfectly honest. Newborn nappies aren't really that stinky. Toddler nappies, however, are foul. So is wiping their poo off the floor and furniture or emptying their potty: but at least you're on the road to it ending up in the toilet more often than not. I had also been quite keen on an early transition from nappies before I had children. Now, let's be very clear about this, very few things have turned out like I imagined since having children of my own. I think we all are surprised by the journey parenthood take us on, it is nearly impossible to adhere to what your preconceptions were. Or at least it is impossible to hold on to them without huge personal disappointment (well for the huge majority of us at least... There really is no handbook to this gig and you can only do your best). That said, it was something I had hoped to achieve early.
This time I am not pregnant, but now that I have done it twice before with fairly young toddlers I feel I am well prepared to do it again. At 18 months of age our son has shown signs of being ready for a little while, in fact I had intended to do it over the summer holidays originally. But as we ended up moving house during the holidays I felt it was better to wait. Finding the "right" time is more about when you think you can commit fully to it than it is about when they are "ready" - or put it this way, it's as much about YOU being ready as your child. Any mistakes, any lack of concentration, any distractions are usually down to you as a parent and not them. Or rather, in my experience, any time any of my children have had a problem it has been down to me not paying attention to what they are doing. All three of our children are very different people but the same approach has worked wonders with all of them. They've excelled and struggled with different aspects but the initial training period has been about the same.
Our eldest got peeing into the potty within a couple of days, pooing on the other hand was apparently terrifying and it took us months till she one day realised that it isn't so bad to not do it standing. She also found public toilets terrifying to start so I made more of an effort with the other two to get them used to big toilets. Our middle child nailed pooping on day two, peeing however was trickier as she has a bladder of steel. She could literally go all day without needing to pee (which became useful for night training as she basically didn't need it, she just stopped by herself - it was not as easy with number 1, even if she was by no means difficult either). Child number 2 quickly adapted a habit of peeing on the seat cushion at the dinner table during lunch and dinner and it felt like a difficult habit to break. To be fair to her, it may have felt endless to me, but by about a week of potty training she had snapped out of the bad habit. As for the youngest, he has taken a liking to the toilet and isn't keen on the potty (he will finish things on it if I have caught him mid business but his preferred choice is the big toilet). From day one he has been a fantastic student and has been very good at going when prompted, not as good at going on his own accord though. Because I have managed to preempt him most of the time we've not had a huge amount of accidents. Considering he had a fever the first 2.5 days he has been incredible. That said I was feeling things going backwards a bit yesterday morning when I attempted to let him lead. Come afternoon he blew me away though as he finally started doing his own prompting and led the way to pees 4 times on his own. Today has continued with the same success, he's led the way every time. We've still got a way to go on the poo front, but he generally only does that once a day (and thankfully always at home so that will make trips easier) so I expect it to take longer as we can't practice as often. The last three times I have managed to transfer him mid poo and he has finished sitting which is a lot better than child number 1 ever did so feeling very positive about his progress so far.
I had been concerned that his achondroplasia would get in the way of his potty training a bit. His shorter legs meant I had to find a potty that sits lower than the ones my daughters use. Feels a bit pointless now he wants lifted onto the loo all the time, but I am hoping he'll warm to the potty a bit as I want him to be able to use it without help every time. Time will tell if his arms are long enough for him to wipe himself, but as I know from experience toddlers are crap at bum wiping so it is not a hurdle we need to jump just yet. If anything having a willy makes at least half of that easier than it was with the girls. I will need to try to figure out steps up to the toilet that are safe for him to use on his own if he continues to show a preference for it. Unfortunately he doesn't have any vocabulary just yet other than "Mamma", "Pappa" and "up" so I have to go by visual cues, but then our eldest was pretty much non-verbal until 2.5 years of age and at 17 months old our middle child had not words relating to her toilet needs either so we are more than used to it by now. I also worried about his training, as being the third, there are a lot of places outside the home we have to go to - when I trained the other two it was easier to lock ourselves in until it was sorted but in his case we need it to happen fast to get on with daily life. I am glad he seems to be hitting the same timeline as the older two, the first week is the really tiring one where you have to be close to home all the time.
With regards to any difference in training the two different genders I have to say I've personally not been able notice any. The only thing, perhaps, is that he is probably more excited about his accomplishments than the girls were. But that might also be because he's literally got a whole squad of cheerleaders celebrating whenever he is successful. I feel like I'd be equally delighted if I were him!
This time I am not pregnant, but now that I have done it twice before with fairly young toddlers I feel I am well prepared to do it again. At 18 months of age our son has shown signs of being ready for a little while, in fact I had intended to do it over the summer holidays originally. But as we ended up moving house during the holidays I felt it was better to wait. Finding the "right" time is more about when you think you can commit fully to it than it is about when they are "ready" - or put it this way, it's as much about YOU being ready as your child. Any mistakes, any lack of concentration, any distractions are usually down to you as a parent and not them. Or rather, in my experience, any time any of my children have had a problem it has been down to me not paying attention to what they are doing. All three of our children are very different people but the same approach has worked wonders with all of them. They've excelled and struggled with different aspects but the initial training period has been about the same.
Our eldest got peeing into the potty within a couple of days, pooing on the other hand was apparently terrifying and it took us months till she one day realised that it isn't so bad to not do it standing. She also found public toilets terrifying to start so I made more of an effort with the other two to get them used to big toilets. Our middle child nailed pooping on day two, peeing however was trickier as she has a bladder of steel. She could literally go all day without needing to pee (which became useful for night training as she basically didn't need it, she just stopped by herself - it was not as easy with number 1, even if she was by no means difficult either). Child number 2 quickly adapted a habit of peeing on the seat cushion at the dinner table during lunch and dinner and it felt like a difficult habit to break. To be fair to her, it may have felt endless to me, but by about a week of potty training she had snapped out of the bad habit. As for the youngest, he has taken a liking to the toilet and isn't keen on the potty (he will finish things on it if I have caught him mid business but his preferred choice is the big toilet). From day one he has been a fantastic student and has been very good at going when prompted, not as good at going on his own accord though. Because I have managed to preempt him most of the time we've not had a huge amount of accidents. Considering he had a fever the first 2.5 days he has been incredible. That said I was feeling things going backwards a bit yesterday morning when I attempted to let him lead. Come afternoon he blew me away though as he finally started doing his own prompting and led the way to pees 4 times on his own. Today has continued with the same success, he's led the way every time. We've still got a way to go on the poo front, but he generally only does that once a day (and thankfully always at home so that will make trips easier) so I expect it to take longer as we can't practice as often. The last three times I have managed to transfer him mid poo and he has finished sitting which is a lot better than child number 1 ever did so feeling very positive about his progress so far.
I had been concerned that his achondroplasia would get in the way of his potty training a bit. His shorter legs meant I had to find a potty that sits lower than the ones my daughters use. Feels a bit pointless now he wants lifted onto the loo all the time, but I am hoping he'll warm to the potty a bit as I want him to be able to use it without help every time. Time will tell if his arms are long enough for him to wipe himself, but as I know from experience toddlers are crap at bum wiping so it is not a hurdle we need to jump just yet. If anything having a willy makes at least half of that easier than it was with the girls. I will need to try to figure out steps up to the toilet that are safe for him to use on his own if he continues to show a preference for it. Unfortunately he doesn't have any vocabulary just yet other than "Mamma", "Pappa" and "up" so I have to go by visual cues, but then our eldest was pretty much non-verbal until 2.5 years of age and at 17 months old our middle child had not words relating to her toilet needs either so we are more than used to it by now. I also worried about his training, as being the third, there are a lot of places outside the home we have to go to - when I trained the other two it was easier to lock ourselves in until it was sorted but in his case we need it to happen fast to get on with daily life. I am glad he seems to be hitting the same timeline as the older two, the first week is the really tiring one where you have to be close to home all the time.
With regards to any difference in training the two different genders I have to say I've personally not been able notice any. The only thing, perhaps, is that he is probably more excited about his accomplishments than the girls were. But that might also be because he's literally got a whole squad of cheerleaders celebrating whenever he is successful. I feel like I'd be equally delighted if I were him!
My final, but by no means most minor, reason for wanting to get them out of nappies earlier is driven by something that is definitely taking centre stage globally. The climate impact. Nappies are terrible for the environment, it will take each nappy 200-500 years to decompose. That is a horrific gift to leave our future grandchildren. I'm afraid I am not convicted enough to use reusable nappies from day one. If you are, not only do I commend you, but I wish there were more of you about and please keep pestering the rest of us that don't use them. Motherhood is mega hard though, especially in the early months, so don't beat yourself up if you are using disposable nappies. I felt too overwhelmed to deal with reusable ones with any of my babies so I feel that getting them out of them early is the least I can do. I pass no judgement on when others chose to train their kids though, what and when works differs greatly from family to family.
Potty training is pretty draining and I'm glad we're putting the hardest part behind us. I thought it seemed pretty scary a task before I did it the first time, but I have realised I quite enjoy it in a strange way. You get to know your child a little extra and it's great to see how proud they are of themselves when they succeed. Good luck if you're about to embark on your potty training journey, it's not as daunting as you might think!
If you're interested in knowing how I potty trained all three children within a short time period I warmly recommend the book "Oh Crap! Potty Training" by Jamie Glowacki. I have not read any parenting books other than this and I have recommended it to friends for year who've all enjoyed it equally. Note this is an affiliate link to the Book Depository (it costs you nothing, but should you purchase the book from them I get a small commission) - I try to share links to the best priced items I can find as I spend a lot of time looking through the internet before purchasing items but it is entirely up to you if you use my link or buy elsewhere. I will add that the site do free WORLDWIDE delivery.
Potty training is pretty draining and I'm glad we're putting the hardest part behind us. I thought it seemed pretty scary a task before I did it the first time, but I have realised I quite enjoy it in a strange way. You get to know your child a little extra and it's great to see how proud they are of themselves when they succeed. Good luck if you're about to embark on your potty training journey, it's not as daunting as you might think!
If you're interested in knowing how I potty trained all three children within a short time period I warmly recommend the book "Oh Crap! Potty Training" by Jamie Glowacki. I have not read any parenting books other than this and I have recommended it to friends for year who've all enjoyed it equally. Note this is an affiliate link to the Book Depository (it costs you nothing, but should you purchase the book from them I get a small commission) - I try to share links to the best priced items I can find as I spend a lot of time looking through the internet before purchasing items but it is entirely up to you if you use my link or buy elsewhere. I will add that the site do free WORLDWIDE delivery.
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