Acceptable terminology

I hadn't intended on such a long break between the previous post and this one but we had a visit from my gran last week, that coupled with me feeling extra sluggish during a fibromyalgia flare-up has slowed down the writing. However I have a few more things to cover for this year's dwarfism awareness month before diversifying the blog content somewhat.

To start I'll be honest about what I thought before Elis' diagnosis as most of this is still so new to me and I don't want to preach without being candid about my own previous misconceptions. As a child I learnt that someone who was short and disproportionate was a dwarf while someone who was short while still proportionate was a midget. As an adult I gradually understood that midget was derogatory, I now know it's incredibly frowned upon and it's a term that simply shouldn't be used to describe anyone. All the "M"-word does is bring up memories of Victorian style freak shows, they are unfortunately still around across the globe but belong well and truly in our past and are thankfully becoming less frequent in most of the Western world. My other faux pas would be that I'd have referred to someone with restricted growth as "a dwarf" (the recognised plural form is "dwarfs" and not "dwarves" despite it becoming more common in fiction). I didn't do that out of malice, just without much thought or realisation that it offended others so I can only assume it's the same for most.

I'd never refer to our son as "a dwarf", he's a person who happens to have dwarfism. He is Elis and he just grows a little differently from the average person. Another acceptable turn of phrase is to say someone is "a person of short stature" and "little person" (LP) is also widely recognised within the community. Personally I'm not a fan of the latter of the terms, I call my children little people so to me it feels like belittling an adult, but that's only my view on it as an average height (AH) mother, many people with dwarfism seem very happy to use it and that is the most important thing in this.

What I want to get across in this is that if you are wondering how to refer to someone with dwarfism, the best thing is to go for their name and regardless of whether you know it or not just treat them like you would any other person. But if for whatever reason you need terminology use what I've given you above.

And if you're with a curious child don't just shut them up, either educate them yourself or if you're unsure, approach the person so that they have a chance to share with your child instead of perpetuating the fear of what's different - that goes for other instances in life too! As long as your intentions are genuine and kind I'm sure you'll be met positively (obviously not everyone likes to be approached by strangers, especially those who spend a lot of time ignoring stares and potential abuse, so please take care to be respectful and try to gauge the situation). And please treat the person in question as the age they are, again, ask if you're unsure. No 8 year old wants to be treated like a 2 year old.

It's ok, no good, to be curious, however it's unacceptable to be mean spirited for lack of understanding.