We all deal with motherhood and its various stages differently, some love the newborn stage (me) while others find it a difficult transition, maybe even battling postpartum depression, or simply just needing their baby to be a little more of a responsive human being as they become after a few months. I adore most of the baby year, always hoping it won't end because I find toddlers harder to keep up with. It's brilliant to cheer on their milestones and I'm forever amazed at how much they grow both physically and mentally; I'm sure even mothers who don't particularly love the baby phase feel the same at times! I just find it's easier to not get upset with the baby because I know he's not being difficult emotionally on purpose - the older they get the more they fight what's around them (and so they should to learn things about their surroundings and themselves, it would just be nice if it felt like they listened a bit more consistently, I've a short temper - something I hate about myself and I battle constantly with how crap it can make me feel - which isn't helped by toddler mood swings and an ever questioning 4 year old).
Don't get me wrong, hanging out with a baby all day is draining AF! Especially the first one when you question everything, in particular your own abilities as a mother. I had spent a lot of time looking after other people's young children both as a babysitter and as an au pair, even my younger sister as there's a 7 year difference gave me plenty of baby practice before I had my own. Well prepared as I thought I was though, nothing prepares you for how your own baby will affect you. I found it lonely and tough being a first time mum, but I loved the baby stage so so much with my consecutive children because I felt confident with them. I had managed it once, and even if they've taught me new things, the basics have been the same and I've got the hang of multitasking. With my eldest everything is new all the time though (always will be I suppose) and that makes me feel less at ease.
So I admit to particularly enjoying the baby stage in my children's lives. Yes, the endless cycle of nappy changes, feeds and naps can feel relentless at times. It's tiring to change things up once you feel like you have a routine when you start to wean them onto solids or try to get them to sleep through the night (that one is particularly tough, yet somehow I feel like I deal with it better and better despite me now getting less and less sleep and despite it having gone on for so long). And then everything becomes a million times harder when they start moving about, first it's not far, they roll or shuffle and so you can keep them within a small radius at least. Then they start crawling and it feels like life becomes so much harder, they explore everywhere they shouldn't and you're forever moving a baby. But the period I find the toughest & the most draining is when they start standing and cruising along furniture but still lack any stability whatsoever.
They become a complete and utter liability as they try to explore things higher up and you spend all your time as their shadow or making mad dashes across the room to try to catch them before they fall and hurt themselves. At least when they crawl you can try to contain them or keep an eye on them from afar and go to them when you need to, but once they start pulling themselves up everywhere and anywhere they can getting anything else done becomes entirely impossible. Of course they want to practice their new skill, and so they should! How else will they strengthen their muscles? It's just very exhausting to literally not get a moment to yourself, all of a sudden you'll feel like you actually got time to do things before when you used to moan that the baby took up all your time. As with everything it's only temporary and once they become stable and strong enough you start to dare to leave them to it for longer periods, right now however I have to know what the baby is up to at every moment lest I should hear his skull make impact with the floor or a hard ledge.
I don't want the baby phase to end: and let's face it your baby starting to stand and walk marks the beginning of their new adventure as toddlers, but right now I wish he'd hurry up and become better at both so I can at least get a few things done again. I find it a tough stage because it takes more of your already precious time, and emotionally I know it is a bittersweet period because soon my baby will be a toddler and I just don't know where the time went. Soon enough he'll have the independence he's seeking, I'll not have to be his shadow, and although I'll enjoy being able to sit down once in a while again I know I'll also miss this tiresome period of being his physical safety net constantly.
Of course once he starts to toddle independently a whole new set of challenges will arise and they become a danger to themselves in a different manner, but the falls are not as frequent or scary as now when he's holding on to the furniture doing his (very cute) little bum wiggle. It's very true when "experienced" mothers tell you "it's just a phase", the whole of this parenthood gig is just a long succession of phases. This one will soon end and then I'll wish for it back simply because I want the baby days back... But right now, and even looking back at memories of my older two, this stage is one I find particularly tough partly because I have to be by his side literally ALL the time and partly because I know that it's the beginning of the good-bye to him being a baby.
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