Chasing Butterflies Daily

To be honest we're still working out our traditions, the thing my husband and I agree on the most is that we need to try to avoid too many, especially on Christmas Eve & Day. We've figured out the key to enjoying it the most is to try to keep the plans to a minimum, keeping the expectations low means there's less stress and we ALL have a better time. I mean let's face it with small children about most plans get totally fucked anyway. We can't please everyone, but if everyone is willing to compromise a little and let go of wild expectations of what Christmas should or shouldn't be we both feel like everyone involved will have a better time. This will be our 7th Christmas together and they've all been fairly varied, from staying in hotels while visiting relatives in Scotland when we lived abroad, travelling to Sweden and bunking up in my mum's house to spending it in our own home. But I think we're slowly figuring what works for us and what t...

Our 2.5 year old still very much needs to take an afternoon nap, however being a toddler / a-hole means that she promptly refuses to go down for one. With three children about I don't have time for naptime fights or to sit with her in her room till she's fallen asleep. Some days I can't be bothered trying to make her sleep at all, something both my husband and I regret immensely once it's late afternoon. If I'm out in the car during the day I can usually convince her to shut her eyes and drift off for at least a cat nap to see her through the day. But on days we're at home it's a battle to say the least. I remember our eldest fighting naps at this age too but back then I usually had the time to be with her till she settled and so I didn't have to troubleshoot the problem. The way I get around it with our head strong middle child is giving her an option of where to sleep. To begin with she was happy with staying in her own room and just go...

One of the things I looked forward to the most before having children was getting them into books. I'm still hopeful, I mean they already love them... They're just really shit at listening to them. As a child I would definitely have classified as a bookworm, happily boasting about the great classics being my preferred reading material from my tweens and onward. English literature was one of my favourite classes at school and back when I had time and energy to read most books were read from start to finish within 24-48 hours. Yes I was that child hiding a torch in my bed, forever having my mum come and knock on the door to tell me it was lights out time. I LOVED reading and escaping into other worlds. To this day I refuse to throw out books and while I love lending others reading material I loathe it when I have to chase them. I'm even known to write my name in the front to avoid excuses these days & I warn people that I want my baby, sorry, I meant book, back when they...

Saturday the 15th of December I was FINALLY going to get to perform in a play again. The last time I was on stage was 5.5 years ago in a production of Antigone. We'd found out I was pregnant with our firstborn two days before the run started. My morning sickness (which turned out to be the less than charming hyperemesis gravidarum) had started, add to that I had quit smoking cold turkey and obviously couldn't enjoy a post performance drink, it wasn't the most enjoyable week of performances but it was still good fun. I started doing drama in my spare time at the age of 7, by the time I was 15 I was performing in a minimum of 4 plays a year (often many more). I was definitely what you'd call a "drama geek" and I was more than proud of the title. I had already done fewer plays in the year before Antigone as my (now) husband and I had moved to the countryside and there was no public transport running late enough to comfortably partake in rehearsals. I somehow man...

On Saturday the 15th of December 2018 most of Scotland had amber weather warnings (the Met Office issue yellow, amber & red warnings, red being the most serious with great risk to life if you go out in it) in place as snow and icy rain was forecast. I was meant to be performing in a play that evening ( a bit more about that HERE ) but by late afternoon the stormy weather we'd been promised kicked off and within two hours I could tell I wasn't getting up the hill by our house with my car, never mind successfully completing the drive to the venue. I wasn't the only one in that situation as we all live rurally so the show has been postponed. Most of the day it was windy but not much coming down from the skies, the only way you could tell the weather was truly bad was that our internet connection broke in the morning. We rely on satellite broadband as our telephone line out in the glen isn't strong enough to carry the signal to our house (it's barely strong en...

Today has been Saint Lucia's day in Sweden (there's a link to a post with more facts about the day at the end of the piece) along with Midsummer it is one of our biggest celebrations during the year so I went in to our eldest's nursery class during the afternoon to share with them some traditional snacks, music and stories about Swedish Christmas with her classmates. This morning I had asked if she wanted to wear her gingerbread dress (one of the common outfits for the younger children to wear for the Lucia procession - you'll see her younger sister happily donning her dress a bit further down) but she wanted to be "more beautiful" and picked another dress. She's a little girl who knows her will very clearly and so I let her pick what she wanted to wear, apparently she'll wear her gingerbread dress tomorrow... Last year her nursery teacher had made little clay candle holders with them for Lucia (I was in the midst of pregnancy sickness) and our e...

Saint Lucia is celebrated on the 13th of December across Scandinavia (and in Italy to some degree) however it's definitely a bigger tradition in Sweden than any of it's neighbouring countries. Although it has its roots in celebrating the Christian virgin & martyr, St Lucia, who is said to have brought food in the darkness to the poor, carrying a crown of candles on her head to light the way to leave her hands free to carry as much food as possible. There are of course, as is want with old tales, many varying versions of events. From being engaged to a pagan who then shunned her for giving her dowry money to the needy to the Church trying to kill her with a bonfire that failed before beheading her. What remains of her life in Italy doesn't matter or relate much to the celebration that is held in Sweden today. Both the Protestant and Catholic church hold Sankta Lucia processions, but as with a lot of Swedish traditions it is the pagan aspects that seem to sit stronger w...

Other than the obvious that they always have a friend & all the hand-me-downs here are some of the other benefits to having multiple children I have found. You can always ask one of the older ones to sniff the baby's bum to check if they've pooped so you don't have to. You get to stay up all night as the children have a running rota where they take turns waking/keeping you up, especially ideal if you don't like sleep. You definitely won't need an alarm as at least one child is bound to wake you up (mostly likely by fighting with a sibling) - except for those days when you really need to get up of course; do not become complacent and opt against setting an alarm if you actually have to get up early, they are guaranteed to sleep in just because it's inconvenient. You become a cheap date as you're unlikely to want to risk a hangover with 3 kids under 5 years about (or one of any age to be honest - I recommend waiting till they are out of nappies be...

I try not to gush too much about my children, if anything I moan about them more! Not because I don't love them or love spending time with them, I do! I love them so much I could burst, but my coping mechanism is to complain (and laugh) because parenthood is hard work. I am immeasurably proud of my children for various reasons despite them being massive a-holes a lot of the time, that doesn't mean that others want to hear about every little detail that makes my heart skip a beat. But sometimes (probably more often than I give myself credit), I just have to gush a little - if for no other reason than to remind myself that in all the chaos they are pretty awesome little humans when they aren't being dicks. Last year our eldest (then coming up to her 4th birthday) made Santa a gift, I had of course giggled and explained that I think she had got it a little bit muddled up. That it was him that came with gifts for the children and not vice versa. She'd (very cunnin...

To be fair to some people I might still qualify as one because there's a lot about Christmas that makes me feel slightly nauseous. I'd like to set the record straight as to why I feel like I do because there's still a lot that I do like about it, even more so now I have children of my own, I just got to a point before where I felt let down and disillusioned by the supposed "Christmas spirit". To start I'll deal with some of the less sensitive issues I have: I hate the jingly pop songs that follow you about (major bonus with how we live now! I'm rarely in shops or bars/cafés so I'm not assaulted by it to the same extent although I did spend what felt like an eternity channel hopping on the radio in the car earlier today) and because they are everywhere the rage grows within me. Thing is I like a good few Christmas songs, it's just that I'd rather listen to Händel's Messiah or a compilation of Christmas classics sung by a choir, possibl...

We all deal with motherhood and its various stages differently, some love the newborn stage (me) while others find it a difficult transition, maybe even battling postpartum depression, or simply just needing their baby to be a little more of a responsive human being as they become after a few months. I adore most of the baby year, always hoping it won't end because I find toddlers harder to keep up with. It's brilliant to cheer on their milestones and I'm forever amazed at how much they grow both physically and mentally; I'm sure even mothers who don't particularly love the baby phase feel the same at times! I just find it's easier to not get upset with the baby because I know he's not being difficult emotionally on purpose - the older they get the more they fight what's around them (and so they should to learn things about their surroundings and themselves, it would just be nice if it felt like they listened a bit more consistently, I've a sho...

  Saffron buns, known as Lussebullar in Swedish, are traditionally baked for the 13th of December when we celebrate St. Lucia, however they are consumed throughout the Christmas period and it really isn't Christmas without them in my opinion. Ingredients 50 g fresh yeast / 14 g dry yeast 500 dl milk 180-200 g butter (melted) 1-1.5 g saffron 0.5 tsp salt 150-200 ml sugar 1 egg 1500-1700 ml flour    Garnish Raisins or "pearl" sugar / large coarse sugar alternatively you can use almond flakes Egg for brushing over Method Crumble the yeast in a big bowl. Heat milk and butter to finger temperature at 37℃. Try to be precise with the temperature as the yeast starts to die at 50℃. Pour the mixture over the yeast and stir till it has dissolved properly. Mix in the saffron (if the saffron isn't ground already grind it down with a mortle  and a tsp or two of sugar). Add salt, sugar, egg and almost all of the flour (I'd star...

Swedish saying goes: "Av pepparkakor blir man snäll" "Of gingerbread biscuits one becomes kind." Just as gingerbread biscuits are a big part of Christmas in a lot of countries around the world, they are an important part of Swedish Christmas. You'll find them in most Swedish households during the festive period, I have however never been much of a fan of them. There is a brand of gingerbread called "Annas pepparkakor" that are light, fluffy and they just melt in your mouth and their biscuits are the only ones I've enjoyed; sharing names with the company undoubtedly played a part when I was a child and I love the special edition tins they come out with at times. I don't particularly enjoy ginger in other foods either, and silently detested anyone who tried to get me to eat ginger things to ward off nausea during any of my pregnancies. Because I get hypremesis gravidarum and would do anything to stop feeling sick I have tried it in numero...

When I just had the one child I didn't mind going to the shop too much. It was kind of a handy chore to have, we lived abroad and it killed some of the long baby hours while getting me out the house. It was a break from just being us two. When Vanessa learnt to walk, the walk between our house and the shop in Switzerland became a good way to tire her out. She's always had lots of energy and as soon as she learnt to run she started doing crazy laps of the room before bedtime, she still does it a good few times a week. Even when Nova arrived it was mostly alright. It depended on how I had them with me, we opted to get a better baby carrier and stick to our single pram, just changing the attachments between the toddler seat and carry cot, instead of getting a double. So either I carried Nova in a carrier and Vanessa (26 months+ old at the time) sat in the buggy or Nova lay in the pram and Vanessa walked. The latter was a lot more hard work in the shop, she went through a deli...